you must fail – new film


Don’t you want to see it? click here to watch or right-click and select “save as” to save it to your computer

It is about 20, 000, 000 bytes big and is a .mov, so you will need QuickTime to watch it.

I wrote the script and was probably the main character and all the voices. Probably.

We made this entirely in the space of 12 hours.
We were not allowed sound and we were not allowed editing outside the camera. If you make moving pictures than you know that doing everything as you go inside the camera is just about the worst idea ever.

So far it has had a good reception, but so far the only audience has been our fellow classmates who lived through the same predicament (TRUE STORY!) encountered in the film, so the true critics are yet to speak.

Here you go, The Internet. Be nice, I am not a real actor, I just play one in short films.

notes to selfs.

1. “Slick as a German minute” will come into common parlance.

2. The individual who makes decisions for a given household will no longer be referred to as such, but rather as “the decisor”

3. The activity known as “Cybering” or “Cyber Sex” or “Sex on MSN” should only be called “Textual Relations” (this has probably been said elsewhere before)

4. “Sand is overrated, it’s just tiny rocks” – Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless mind.

5. Chef Boyardee, being good neither in a state of coldness nor hotness, can be eaten at the temperature desired by by the eater, and should not be confined to any absolute standards of preparation.

cold ravioli with knife, photo

On internal subphonics, and feminist pornography

It’s weird to think how much we take the way we feel when we do things for granted. How we create a kind of emotional soundtrack to accompany all of our routines and actions and activities, a kind of energy that surrounds that thing.

Sometimes it’s music, which, for a lot of us, never leaves our sonic environment, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s something like a particular pacing to our thoughts, a groove we slide into when we start something. It’s what gets disturbed when you’re working and makes you have to stop, or falters at an awkward moment in a conversation and makes you actually think about what you’re saying instead of just saying it. It has to do with how you can read a thousand pages without blinking but can be disturbed beyond relief by someone on a cellphone.

Most interestingly, it can be completely re-evaluated and re-considered in relation to the activity it accompanies, by just changing the actual music you listen to when you do it, letting you feel the activity itself again from a fresh perspective, without the comfortable noise inside your head urging you to relax.

There’s just something about playing Tori Amos over porn that really changes the ways you can watch it.

Implications of Nothingness

“In the beginning and in the end was Nothingness. Nothingness implied the possibility of Somethingness. It is impossible to make something from nothing. Therefore Nothingness could only imply Somethingness. That implication is the universe.
We are wisps of that implication”

-Kurt Vonnegut, Wampeters, Foma and Granfaloons.