on death-laden beverages and optometrist vulvarians

Posted by Jeremy Clarke on August 3, 2004 · General

Lens crafters was afraid to install new lenses in these old 60’s frames because of their tiny genetalia (lens-crafters’ not the glasses’), so Greiche & Schaff had to do the work. You should use them instead when you can’t see stuff. Their balls are huge and their vaginas could crush small nations, forget those wusses at lens crafters.

Also, what the hell is wrong with Minute Maid? Why would you put aspartame in a bottle of JUICE? I’m dying fast enough because of the coffee and booze, thank you, I don’t need you adding poison in my juice. (and here I was thinking that “LIGHT” would just mean no sugar added)

Last time I go in a mall for awhile I guess. Why is it that whenever I buy stuff it sucks so much?

Posted by Jeremy Clarke on August 3, 2004 · General

3 Comments

  1. CJ

    eww

    August 4th, 2004 at 12:19 am

  2. MatthewC

    Hi Jer,

    Nowadays, grocery manufacturers stuff all sorts of venoms into their productsÉ Avoid anything with the ÒcocktailÓ or ÒbeverageÓ keyword. Stick to the ÒjuiceÓ stuff. Obviously, if the package proudly reads ÒContains 5% real juice!Ó the remaining 95% probably are not exactly interesting to the health-conscious biped.

    August 4th, 2004 at 10:51 am

  3. louisa

    because you’re cheap.

    also, what he said. which is, incidentally, what i’ve been saying all along.

    :P

    August 13th, 2004 at 10:03 pm

Add new comment (email only seen by Jeremy)