It’s my birthday and I’ll make saccharine Buddhist videos if I want to ??
May contain: My thoughts on the year that passed and what I’ve learned, unsubtle metaphors, Michoacano handicrafts, accepting and letting go, mind-bending earnestness.
Find more Buddhist and Refuge Recovery videos on my YouTube channel, like the Guided Breathing Meditation, and Oral History of the Refuge Recovery Book.
Full Transcription
So it’s my birthday
I’m 35 now, and it’s probably been the best year of my life, at least, the best one in a long, long time
I’m sober, and was sober the whole time I was 34, which has never happened before
Sometimes that feels like a miracle, other times like the only sane choice I could have made
Which gives a bit of a dark spin to all those previous years
Those years I spent running away from the things I didn’t like
Running into the arms of things I thought could fix it
But they didn’t fix it, they always made it worse
So I guess I just wanted to talk to you about this Buddha statue I got
It’s from a small town in Michoacan, a state here in Mexico
It was super cheap, from store with all kinds of different religious and decorative statues
They wrapped it in paper and put it in this bag for me to take home
When I was unwrapping it, I got stuck
This moment here
The Buddha, so peaceful, resting
Wrapped in a black plastic, twisted tape, torn paper
A garbage flower, opening to the world for the first time
Do you get it? it’s a metaphor
Because for the last year, I’ve been studying and practicing Buddhism
And Buddhism teaches us to work towards an inner peace
An acceptance of the world as it is
Of ourselves and others, as we are, without judgement
If we can get to that place, says Buddhism, we’ll be ok
Nothing can hurt us
We can be like this chill-ass Buddha here
Not giving any fucks, in all the right ways
But no one ever said it would be easy
First you have to look around and see the mess
Not just see it, but know it, accept it
The stuff you did, the stuff that just happened to you
Whatever it is you’ve been hiding from, running from
You have to look right at it, close your eyes, and let it go
Then you have to open your eyes again, and when it’s still there, let go again
And again and again and again
Training that muscle, the one that lets go
And you’re still wrapped in a garbage bag,
And you can never really get out of it completely
But each moment you accept things as they are, you feel clean and new
And when it’s time to make a decision, you don’t choose based on your fears
You can see what’s really there, and start cutting your way out
Slowly, surely
See, the metaphor is pretty good
You aren’t the garbage bag, and you aren’t the paper underneath
You are not your problems, or all the shit you do to avoid them
You are the cheap Buddha statue from Michoacan
Not sure of your purpose, illegitimate and counterfeit in so many ways
But holding so much potential and beauty
Ready to wake up, ready to live at ease
Ready to be of service to yourself and the world
Happy birthday to me, and to all of you wherever you are
May you be safe, and well, and protected
May you be free from all suffering, self-inflicted and otherwise
May you be happy, celebrated and contented with what you have
May you live at ease, filled with acceptance for things just as they are
