People who steal bikes should be forced to inhale car exhaust through special gas masks that also have ‘asshole’ written in big block letters across the forehead

Posted by Jer Clarke on November 9, 2006 · General

I’m going to do what everyone has to and pretend I didn’t know it would happen.

On CBC Radio yesterday they were saying that the happiest type of commuters are cyclists (though most commuters enjoy the downtime, cyclists were happiest about their daily journey). What a crummy world where such an elaborate industry exists around stealing and reselling the most enjoyable and cheap way to get around. Can’t even buy a used bike without worrying that it’s just the recycled remains of other people’s fun machines. Can’t you guys find another source of income? Do you really have to sell my own horse back to me with new shoes?

Posted by Jer Clarke on November 9, 2006 · General


  1. mira

    when did this happen? when i left yesterday, i noticed it was gone, but i figured you had taken it to work…

    i bet it was those jackass hummer creeps.

    November 10th, 2006 at 11:19 am

  2. Jeremy Clarke

    First thing that ran through my head as well, though that’s just the paranoia talking. The hummer guys would have destroyed my bike and left a big mess rather than sneakily removing all evidence that there ever was a bike.

    For anyone curious about why Hummerheads would want to steal my bike:

    me (as I pass a hummer idling on st-laurent street): What assholes!

    asshole: Hey! what did you say? come here and say that!

    me: why? so you can beat me up? Why don’t you just run me over?

    asshole: Come here and say that!

    November 12th, 2006 at 7:35 pm

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