Simian Uprising by Jer Clarke

As I type this my computer is deleting over seven gigabytes of illicit images and videos for me, almost 4000 files. Hours of indecent labor and searching, essentially a year worth of wasted time and energy.

I will kick this habit yet.

[next time: regret!]

I originally borrowed The Perks of Being a Wallflower, generally considered to be the official novel of Emo-Kids everywhere, from a friend out of a sense of irony. Like I would read it and laugh at all the emo-kids and their silly book about mix-tapes and breaking up.

It is very very very good. The kind of sad that can only make you feel happy to have experienced it, and the kind of weird that makes you sad because the book isn’t very long. It’s a kind of Catcher in the Rye but with more sincerity and less indignation.

It is 08:44 and i’ve been reading since 03:00 when I woke up. At the risk of blogging my sleep cycles, I will say that this is a book you should be reading regardless of how much sleep you’ve had. And that I will lend it to you once I get my copy in the mail.

Found this fun but perhaps shaky comic on the website of something called the Canadian Action Party, which I stumbled upon randomly in my search for local poll statistics for Quebec.

They appear to have a nice enough platform, though it seems to be a bit too far on the radical/econocomic-quack side of the spectrum for me. The comic details a monetary theory that I am completely unqualified to assess, but which seems like it’s built on ground none to solid.

Of course, the best part is the art which just can’t bring itself up past the level of the religious missionary style that always makes me smile (note the basic cinematic rules broken by the artist, CROSSING THE AXIS!?).

Also, vote NDP. Jack Loves You.

It may seem odd, but there is something incredibly distressing to me about XXXChurch.com, the Number One Christian Porn Site. It’s not because I find Jesus themed pornography unnapealing (though I probably would), because there is no pornography there, only funk-styled missioning to teens who want to wack off, but shouldn’t because the J-Dot said that was a bad idea a couple of millenia ago.

Now as much as I’d like to say that this site annoys me because it’s stupid and cheesy, or that anyone who takes it seriously should have some sense tarred and feathered into them, I think the real reason it bugs me so much is that it actually kind of sold itself to me. The sleek and cool design (though riddled with semantically-incorrect table layout) makes me want to keep looking, and the ideas they put forward are good ones in the battle against masturbation.

I mean, I’ve been 13 and Catholic before. I’ve discovered to my dismay that my fifth grade teacher lied and it is not okay to touch yourself like that. At least, according to the bible (Matthew 5:29-30, on the interpretation of the Catholic church). So I understand the urge to try to be as pure as possible, and if I had seen something like this site at the time, I may have actually had a serious go at it (and not just days when I’d make random assertions that lasted a few hours).

Even now there’s a certain appeal to the whole situation. There’s something zen about any kind of self-denial of a base and instinctual need, and like vegetarianism or straight-edgedness, not looking at porn has a certain success-appeal.

One of the most interesting aspects of the site is a piece of “accountability software” that these guys developed that scans your computer’s history folder and saves any site names that it finds conspicuous (“http://youngnshaved.com/ripeforpikn/666/5.jpg” anyone?) and sends them in an email to a friend responsible for keeping you in line. This seems like it could be fun even if you love porn. If only there was a version for mac I’d make it a mass email to all the faithful readers.

The point of all this is of course that I have arbitrarily decided to become a vegetarian again, and have also sworn off candy (which I have started eating obsessively) and porn (also, eating obsessively). This will be the summer of non-stop excitement.

(Forgive the descent into journal bloggery, it won’t happen again. I promise.)
(also, as regards the slogan “jesus loves porn stars”, I thought that Jesus just loved porn.)

Strapping electrodes to the inside of the skulls of epileptics (as oppose to the outside, a la EEG, where the signals must pass through the bone of the skull) Scientists were able to get amazingly specific data about where certain thoughts happen. Even more interestingly though, is that they were seemingly able to allow direct communication between the minds of the patients and a computer interface.

“They then asked the patients to play a simple, one-dimensional computer game involving moving a cursor up or down towards one of two targets. They were asked to imagine various movements or imagine saying the word “move,” but not to actually perform them with their hands or speak any words by mouth. When they saw the cursor in the video game, they then controlled it with their brains.”

And they actually did pretty well, with one guy scoring 32/33 targets in the simple game. When they tried a two dimensional game the subjects fared less well, but it would only be assumed that there would be some kind of learning curve, and the article claims that the learning speed compared to similar tests on EEG is equivalent to a Wright brother plane and an F-16 fighter jet.

The potential of something like this for anyone, but especially for those with little or no motor control, is amazing. We can imagine games where avatars are controled by direct thought, creating a situation where only visuals limit the seeming reality of the fiction. How could one be more intimate with a character than to actually inhabit their mind? And if a disabled person, never able to move even a finger, could play the same game, with the same control?

I’ve been speaking of Transhumanism a lot lately, and the movement from the limitations of the body is even more important for those with bodies that malfunction. This study seems to point to real advance in that area.

Unfortunately, only monkeys will be able to enjoy the technology for now (there were human subjects used, but now they will only have new monkeys). Damn greedy apes.

Feel free to use and share these as much as you like. (requests available on demand)
I am becomming increasingly concerned about the possibility of a Conservative Harper government (30% of Canadians are saying they plan to vote as such). I wouldn’t want to be the instigator of votesplitting (letting the Tories take over by stealing leftist votes from the liberals), but someone has to be there to go apeshit when the bull starts to fly, and somehow Martin just doesn’t seem to have the jive.

(Just to clarify, the NDP have been by far the most consistenly Eco-Friendly [holding renewable wind power as a major aspect of their platform], Gay-Friendly [supporting marriage opportunities for all] and You-Friendly [he really does love you] party in Canada for a long time now. Also, they have just recently become what is likely the most Harper-Hateful [though i’m sure Jack loves him too, in his special way] party you are likely to come across.)

While we’re on the topic of politics, I cannot help but promote the playing of the BushGame, from the creators of the EmoGame.
It is a funspritied romp through all the things that are very very bad about the presidend of the united states of america. It can be a bit heavy on the information for those un-politically minded, but what is there has obviously been chosen only as the most important facts and observations, and is worth the time it takes to read it. Also, there is Mr.T, Robocop, Rosie O’Donell and Jesus. So there is really no justification for not playing it (it is also very easy to beat.)