Category: Etc

It may seem odd, but there is something incredibly distressing to me about XXXChurch.com, the Number One Christian Porn Site. It’s not because I find Jesus themed pornography unnapealing (though I probably would), because there is no pornography there, only funk-styled missioning to teens who want to wack off, but shouldn’t because the J-Dot said that was a bad idea a couple of millenia ago.

Now as much as I’d like to say that this site annoys me because it’s stupid and cheesy, or that anyone who takes it seriously should have some sense tarred and feathered into them, I think the real reason it bugs me so much is that it actually kind of sold itself to me. The sleek and cool design (though riddled with semantically-incorrect table layout) makes me want to keep looking, and the ideas they put forward are good ones in the battle against masturbation.

I mean, I’ve been 13 and Catholic before. I’ve discovered to my dismay that my fifth grade teacher lied and it is not okay to touch yourself like that. At least, according to the bible (Matthew 5:29-30, on the interpretation of the Catholic church). So I understand the urge to try to be as pure as possible, and if I had seen something like this site at the time, I may have actually had a serious go at it (and not just days when I’d make random assertions that lasted a few hours).

Even now there’s a certain appeal to the whole situation. There’s something zen about any kind of self-denial of a base and instinctual need, and like vegetarianism or straight-edgedness, not looking at porn has a certain success-appeal.

One of the most interesting aspects of the site is a piece of “accountability software” that these guys developed that scans your computer’s history folder and saves any site names that it finds conspicuous (“http://youngnshaved.com/ripeforpikn/666/5.jpg” anyone?) and sends them in an email to a friend responsible for keeping you in line. This seems like it could be fun even if you love porn. If only there was a version for mac I’d make it a mass email to all the faithful readers.

The point of all this is of course that I have arbitrarily decided to become a vegetarian again, and have also sworn off candy (which I have started eating obsessively) and porn (also, eating obsessively). This will be the summer of non-stop excitement.

(Forgive the descent into journal bloggery, it won’t happen again. I promise.)
(also, as regards the slogan “jesus loves porn stars”, I thought that Jesus just loved porn.)

Strapping electrodes to the inside of the skulls of epileptics (as oppose to the outside, a la EEG, where the signals must pass through the bone of the skull) Scientists were able to get amazingly specific data about where certain thoughts happen. Even more interestingly though, is that they were seemingly able to allow direct communication between the minds of the patients and a computer interface.

“They then asked the patients to play a simple, one-dimensional computer game involving moving a cursor up or down towards one of two targets. They were asked to imagine various movements or imagine saying the word “move,” but not to actually perform them with their hands or speak any words by mouth. When they saw the cursor in the video game, they then controlled it with their brains.”

And they actually did pretty well, with one guy scoring 32/33 targets in the simple game. When they tried a two dimensional game the subjects fared less well, but it would only be assumed that there would be some kind of learning curve, and the article claims that the learning speed compared to similar tests on EEG is equivalent to a Wright brother plane and an F-16 fighter jet.

The potential of something like this for anyone, but especially for those with little or no motor control, is amazing. We can imagine games where avatars are controled by direct thought, creating a situation where only visuals limit the seeming reality of the fiction. How could one be more intimate with a character than to actually inhabit their mind? And if a disabled person, never able to move even a finger, could play the same game, with the same control?

I’ve been speaking of Transhumanism a lot lately, and the movement from the limitations of the body is even more important for those with bodies that malfunction. This study seems to point to real advance in that area.

Unfortunately, only monkeys will be able to enjoy the technology for now (there were human subjects used, but now they will only have new monkeys). Damn greedy apes.

Feel free to use and share these as much as you like. (requests available on demand)
I am becomming increasingly concerned about the possibility of a Conservative Harper government (30% of Canadians are saying they plan to vote as such). I wouldn’t want to be the instigator of votesplitting (letting the Tories take over by stealing leftist votes from the liberals), but someone has to be there to go apeshit when the bull starts to fly, and somehow Martin just doesn’t seem to have the jive.

(Just to clarify, the NDP have been by far the most consistenly Eco-Friendly [holding renewable wind power as a major aspect of their platform], Gay-Friendly [supporting marriage opportunities for all] and You-Friendly [he really does love you] party in Canada for a long time now. Also, they have just recently become what is likely the most Harper-Hateful [though i’m sure Jack loves him too, in his special way] party you are likely to come across.)

While we’re on the topic of politics, I cannot help but promote the playing of the BushGame, from the creators of the EmoGame.
It is a funspritied romp through all the things that are very very bad about the presidend of the united states of america. It can be a bit heavy on the information for those un-politically minded, but what is there has obviously been chosen only as the most important facts and observations, and is worth the time it takes to read it. Also, there is Mr.T, Robocop, Rosie O’Donell and Jesus. So there is really no justification for not playing it (it is also very easy to beat.)

In Canada a federal election is on the horizon, and the prospects are looking decidedly bad. The Liberals (big “L”) are down because they did some bad things and everyone is angry. Our two right-wing parties (the ALLIANCE and the PROGRESSSIVE CONSERVATIVES, completely whack and just bad respectively) have joined power-rings to make the mysteriously even MORE right-wing CONSERVATIVE (big “C”) party.

See, normally the liberals win a lot, do something bad, and the tories (prog. cons.) take over for a few years before the liberals take it back. Not ideal but reasonable, and the PC has always shown restraint and at least remained Canadian in shape and direction.

But the New Right does not guarantee even that. They want to make Canada the quainter United-States, boasting policies that even the previous leader of the Progessive Conservatives, Joe Clarke, has said constitute a “scary vision of canada”.
I of course will be voting for the NDP (New Democratic Party, the Left), who have mysteriously and amazingly chosen a friend of mine as the representative for my riding (of course, the Liberals will win here, guaranteed, but the thought is still nice). The NDP will not win the government though, despite their niceness, largely because they have done seemingly reckless things when they’ve taken control of provinces.

So we are left with the Liberals, normally dead center of the question (for Canada. They would of course constitute revolutionaries were they 200km to the south) but lately a bit right, and the Conservatives, terrifyingly right and threatening to have far too much power because of the general anger towards the economically philandering Liberals. A scary thing.

All this to get to the real point, being that for my current employment I have been calling people in the Carribbean, asking for them by name, and trying to make them do a survey, and yesterday I talked to someone in Jamaica who’s name was Stephen Harper, which is the same as the name of the leader of the Conservatives, and he was a big freakin’ jerk.

Which of course is unquestionable proof that people named Stephen Harper, internationally and pan-continentially, are big freakin’ jerks.

And I hate them.

For those of you who were curious as to what Vonnegut you should be reading, he has written a short and good article that seems to sum up nicely a lot of what he thinks. You can read it here.

Also, Rodeohead, which is exactly what it sounds like. The only downfall is that there is only one track of this post-bluegrasstronica goodness available. The good news is that it incorporates all your whiny college-rock favorites. (via BoingBoing, link to site and mp3.)

1. Evolution is over. We are currently taking care of everyone that happens to get born and making sure that they do not get un-born. We refuse to let anyone die, no matter how weak, as that would be unfair. Thus the weak keep on keeping on, instead of dying and making room for the strong.

(a) Furthermore, we encourage and aid them in their quest to accomlish that trick of tricks, procreation, effectively sewing the seeds of destruction within our genetic makeup (shallowing the gene-pool so to speak).

(b) This would be a serious bummer were it not for the fact that regardless of our level of natural selection and evolution, we will all be dead because of resource and cultural limits we face today long before any change could even theoretically take place.

[i]No longer a bummer, we can then see this lack of natural selection for what it really is, a kick in the pants for a world full of humans on the verge of something far more efficient, spectacular and mind blowing. Our assured and imminent destruction serves not only to render the question of oldschool evolution defunct, it is also caused by something that will allow the true possibilities in humanity to flourish.

( c) Technology opens many doors for us, and infinitely more for those that will come after us. Within our lifetimes we will face decisions concerning the destiny of our bodies, our minds and our species. We will see our inner and outer worlds being altered to suit the needs we will face. Pharmaceuticals, cogniceuticals, gene-therapy, genetic enhancement, bionic enhancement, all will come into their own to varying degrees. Technological enablement.

2. Would you take a pill that made you smarter for a limited amount of time? That allowed you the clarity and focus of mind to read the most difficult book, or the freedom of communication between cerebral hemispheres to truly come into contact with your intuition?

(a)
When this becomes a serious option would you actually be able to say no? Would you choose sluggishness? Ignorance? Regression? Would you keep smoking pot on the weekend?

(b)Would you deny this of future generations?

[i] Is there anything wrong with that?

Went to see The Passion of The Christ for 6$ at the discount cinema out of a morbid sense of obligation. I had heard again and again that it was one of the most gory and horrible films to ever come out of america (unlike Japan), but such claims just can’t sink in properly until you’ve watched a raging Roman guard rip chunks out of the side of Your Favorite Communist with some horrible metal-hooked cat ‘o nine tails.

I doubt that I’ve squirmed so much at one movie in my life.

Overall though the emotion was actually pretty solid, and some of the characterization was superb (the Simon character was particularly poingnant), though I’m not really sure about the writing.. I mean, it was a bit obvious, wasn’t it? I totally knew what everyone in the movie was going to say before they even said it!

There is a tiny place inside my head where I have been hiding to avoid being there when I call people to do surveys all day long, which is what I have been doing since school ended.

Uneventfully, there is very little in this tiny space, and the United-Statsers who I have been calling make it in far too often. (to any unitedstatsers in the audience do not feel insulted, I understand that you are barraged by telephonic solicitations, I merely hate to be among them)

Queerly enough, today was the day when my dignity was stolen from me by a tv prank crew from Just For Laughs. It was a sketchy, pretty unfunny, and ultimately botched joke about doing a survey for Health Canada and going to have the final questions asked by a doctor in the next room, which seems to the trickee to be a bathroom where the angry doctor is performing and act of defecation. Of course, they sent me too early, and I just saw an empty doctorless room, so they had to stall me and send me back, which faded the gag a tad.

I would show you a picture of these ridiculous people, but my batteries were completely dead. my creation depends on portable electricity.

You should be reading a book by Kurt Vonnegut, I have been doing it for years, and have never once been left unsatisfied.

Novels by kurt vonnegut are better than sex in that regard at least.

It’s really amazing how high some people’s opinions of the money making power of the internet are. I mean, who would actually pay for ZOMBIE PORN?

Of course, the idea is a good one, but is there really a market for such niche fare? How many people are really siting around in their basements all bandwidthed up and nowhere to go, just wishing for some decaying zombiess to fill their lives with undeath, and, in the process, show them what it means to really live?

There couldn’t be more than a few. Max five.

(props to nikkie on this one for being such an amazing sport, and to angus for being such an amazing artist. both come highly recommended as donut peddler/undead whore and makeup artist respectively.)